charlie don't dope

The hot stove league caught fire this week with Jason Giambi's open admission and Barry Bond's increasingly tenuous denial of steroid use. In leaked testimony reminiscent of Clintonian wrangling, Bonds admitted to a grand jury that he had used questionable substances without knowledge that they contained steroids. Verbal end-arounds might indefinitely cloud Bond's individual guilt, but the current steroid controversy is merely the latest reminder that Major League Baseball is anything but innocent.

In fact, impurity is a proud part of the baseball tradition. The modern home run record was defined by a carousing drunk in the 20's, only to be re-written (in pencil, hopefully) twice in the last five years by two guys filled with more juice than Orange Julius. Even forgetting drugs and alcohol, infamous icons abound in baseball. Ty Cobb led with his spikes and erupted in racist assaults. Shoeless Joe was embroiled in the Black Sox scandle to throw the 1919 World Series. And of course the modern baseball pariah, Pete Rose, bet on baseball while still in the Major Leagues.

In my opinion, Pete Rose is the greatest baseball player of all time. I like the way he played, becoming the ultimate blue-collar sports hero through drive and dedication as well as talent. While not the most gifted athlete, his longevity and accomplishments speak for themselves. But as a human being, Pete Rose is a hard-headed dolt with a haircut as bad as his lies. He has dodged culpability through half-hearted admissions and continues to push for reinstatement without addressing the gambling problem at the heart of his banishment. Rose's forced exclusion from the Hall of Fame says that breaking rules is more significant than breaking records.

There's no clear indication that the gambling exploits of Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe had any impact on their performance; theirs is a punishment based on principle. But anyone watching home run records falling at the feet of unnaturally pumped athletes cannot question that drugs have boosted performance and left an indelible imprint on baseball. And so the great irony in the steroid controversy is that Bond’s career will be honored because it flourished in benign collusion with a league that kept the steroids issue in the closet longer than Rock Hudson. If Bonds remains a first-vote shoo-in for the Hall of Fame, as most commentators assume he will, it says that breaking records is more significant than making rules.

This lack of stewardship is threatening to bring governmental involvement, because Tom Delay's Congress has a surfeit of ethical wisdom to dispense on the subject of principled leadership. I couldn't care less if the government decides to smack MLB down, although it might be fun to watch the spoiled millionaires in the clubhouse and owner's box squirm under a brighter spotlight. All I ask is that baseball figure out what it wants to be. If it wants to serve up entertainment with a side-dish of moral casualness, then fine; let Barry hit his homers, but put Pete Rose in the Hall beside him. We'll marvel at their accomplishments, and still get a good laugh out of Pete's thinning crewcut and Barry's impending man breasts at induction ceremonies for many years to come. On the other hand, if we're to believe that baseball is an American institution worthy of respect and monopoly exemption status, then some shit better start hitting the fan, and quick. Baseball fans would love nothing more than to see Barry Bonds forcibly humbled, and the players who followed the rules deserve to have their deeds protected.

Given their past performance, however, the baseball leadership will probably come up with a cowardly and misdirected solution to this whole saga. Since he is unwilling to stand up to Don Fehr and the player's union, Bud Selig might opt to revise past records in light of their uncompetitive anti-doping origin. As part of some "throwback weekend" ceremony, Bud could dictate that an asterisk be returned to Maris' name, since his home run record was the only one earned without a foreign substance coursing through his veins. It would be business as usual in the ethical wasteland of Major League Baseball.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

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