goodbye, you cardboard talking head

I pretty much stopped watching the 24/7 news networks after the election. It's telling that an entire 90-minute morning news show can be summarized in five or six bullet points, so I'd rather spend 10 minutes surfing than watch a bunch of media types feign personal banter and lob softballs at near-scripted guests. Consequently, I hadn't even realized that Bill Hemmer – one of the most ingratiating and painfully square news "personalities" (because the term "reporter" hardly applies) had left the show.

Hemmer, who made his reputation by lingering around dangerous and unpalatable locations – Kosovo, hurricane landings, and Broward County, to name a few – will continue the trend when he takes his anchor-approved side-parted coif across town to Fox News. While such a move is the career equivalent to selling your soul, a journo-tainer with Hemmer's pedigree is clearly more interested in ratings than integrity. Case in point, Hemmer-style, from the Washington Post:

"I've watched Fox News grow for nine solid years. I find it to be an aggressive network. I find people show up every day to win, and that appeals to me . . . For several years, Fox has been the New York Yankees, and that's a tough lineup to crack. I just feel fortunate to be given the opportunity to play on that team."

What a purist. News professionals used to covet jobs at CBS because of Edward R. Murrow's legacy of truth and honest journalism. Now they flock to FNC because Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity can bully guests and spout partisan propaganda under the guise of information. Pawns like Bill Hemmer are sock puppets that happily ingest whatever directives the clammy hands of corporate leadership shove into them. Enjoy the act, Bill. Just don't expect to feel anything substantive inside when the master yanks his hand back out. Roger Ailes may not be the devil, but there ain't no Daniel Webster walking the FNC halls either.